Plant Flowers Not Weeds!
My approach to gardening is to plant the flowers so close together that the weeds get smothered and never have a chance to grow. Focus on developing your strengths. Grow flowers in
your mind, not weeds. Amplify what is good about you.
You may want to keep a diary of your qualities and add one a day for a month. Ask family and friends what they like about you and why you would make a good speaker. This is not about being superficial and phoney. It is about becoming focused on what you realistically can achieve, growing your strengths, being the best possible you and not allowing the self-doubts to appear. As you see yourself in new ways, your feelings will shift. Remember, when you think you are special, you act special.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a software not a hardware problem. It is a question of updating the files we hold on ourselves, and overriding past negative programming with positive self-talk. This may not be as difficult as you think. The human mind can only handle one conscious thought at a time. As simple as it seems, one positive thought might do the trick!
Fear Is Learnt
You weren’t born afraid of public speaking: it is something you have learnt and it is something you can unlearn. Like most fears it feeds on itself and grows and spreads like a cancer invading many parts of your life. Fear is essentially based on a fantasy, a myth; it is what you run in your head. Really it is:
You run the pictures of what could go wrong, what you ‘know’ will go wrong:
Plant the flowers of positive expectations and notice the difference. Change the picture in your head and watch the behaviour catch up.
Reversing The Symptoms
Rapid breathing, sweating, shaking hands and a high-pitched voice not only reflect your nervousness but also intensify it.
Your body takes cues from your mind and your body gives cues to your mind. You control your frame of mind by controlling your body. If you allow yourself to breath rapidly and let your hands shake, your nervousness will grow.
Symptoms Of Anxiety
Do you do any of the following? If so, reverse these nervous mannerisms if you want to feel more confident:
Breathing Correctly
Breathe slowly and deeply to improve the flow of oxygen into the body and thus the flow of blood to the brain. This will relax you and help you to think more clearly. Taking more oxygen in also improves the flow of air to your vocal chords, allowing you to speak clearly, reducing nervousness and helping you to remain calm.
Getting Out Of Yourself And Into Your Message
You are there to make a difference to your audience. They need to benefit from listening to you. Nerves are often the result of a strong focus on self: 7 will be boring’, ‘They won’t like
me’Focus on your audience and their needs rather than on yourself. Notice what they might gain and you may not notice your pain. After all, a dog in a hunt doesn’t notice it has fleas. Focus on yourself and you will notice the problems. Ask yourself ‘How can I make this interesting?’ rather than ‘Will I look fat wearing this?’
What Are You Giving Your Audience?
It might help to imagine the audience needs you or is asking a favour of you. They want information you have, they need your input, they want to tap into your expertise, anything that essentially gives you authority. Recognise that you have genuinely got something the audience needs:
Tips For Reducing Anxiety
Being PreparedPractise, practise and practise. Rehearse on your own, in front of a mirror, in front of friends. Get so familiar with your material your can deliver it without having to think too much about it. That’s when you are likely to be at your best, when you are so familiar with your material that you can concentrate on the audience rather than on yourself or your material.